Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
how drunk are you?
Several
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
