what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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