And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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