38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
