all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize