ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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