our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
