Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
