Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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