What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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