I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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