ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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