i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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