im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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