He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
