I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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