i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
