so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
