I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
