Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
