She's JV to your varsity
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
