I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
