i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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