every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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