You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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