Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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