the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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