i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
