I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
