so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
