Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
