if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
