got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's great music for shaving your balls
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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