Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
