Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
