Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I look better un-naked...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
