I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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