we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
