My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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