there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
