Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
