And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
