wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize