he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
