Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
