i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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