i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My dick has a subreddit
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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