I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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