you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
