WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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