porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
