i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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