And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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