Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
